Resume of a Three Year Old

Name:  Harper Sloan, aka "Harper-Lo" or "LoLo"

Age:  Three and a half
Current position:  Littlest sister, youngest daughter, Princess of destruction, Queen of all things messy
Position desired:  Full-time Hairdresser Extraoridnaire
Experience:  Brief internship in early 2011.  Extensive experience before turning pro in Summer 2012
Special skills:  Scaling countertops, baby gates, opening cabinets to reach forbidden scissors in total silence.  Not managing to poke eyes out with said scissors.  Also available for mural artwork, hot dog eating contests, and pedicures.
Specialty:  The soon-to-be trademarked "layered bob with super-short bangs".

An ear-length cut, suitable for summer, with chunks of hair cut to various lengths throughout.

Short on the sides, so Mommy (aka "hairdresser's assistant") has to cut the back to even it out.  Slightly longer on the right side, because holy moly, the left side is cut really short. Modern "boy style" cut to top of head (a perfect spot that CANNOT be hidden), where partial-ponytail used to be.

Achieve this unique effect by cutting ponytail just ABOVE rubber band.
Career goals:  "To have a mohawk like Aidan!"

Salary desired:  Negotiable.  Payments in ice cream and pop tarts are acceptable.
Benefits desired:  Unlimited access to Sharpie markers, scissors, nail polish, and pantry spices.
To contact:  Just follow the sound of my mother's weeping.