One Year Ago Today

We laid our eyes on this little girl for the very first time.

And our lives were changed forever.

She wore a little peach dress, and several little chicken pox.

She ate noodles and a banana for her very first breakfast with us.

She carried a bag made for her my my sweet friend Heather, and a year later, takes that bag to dance class every Monday morning.

She talked nonstop that first day, and has not stopped talking since.

She speaks English now, and sings in her bed after we turn the lights off.

She cut her own bangs a couple of months ago with a pair of scissors she dug out of the junk drawer.

She loves getting dressed, and usually requests "two bows" in her hair.

The other day she and her little sister made a game of throwing their baby dolls down the stairs, then screaming "Oh, No!" as they ran to rescue them.

She loves going to school and church.

She is very bossy, and has discovered that if she is confident enough in her delivery, people will usually do what she tells them to do. Especially little sisters.

She is nothing like what we expected.

She is not in any adoption book that we read.

Nothing about our Emerson matches up with what we know of her first three years of life. Her sass, her language skills, her appetite, her health, her outgoing personality, her confidence. None of this is consistent with what a child who spent three years in an orphanage should be like.

And we are so, so thankful for that. We are so thankful for the little girl that God made her to be, and we know without a doubt that He created her for us, and us for her.

Some days have been easy, some days have been very hard, but we wouldn't trade any of it for the world.

Happy Gotcha Day, sweet Emerson. We love you so, so much.

Six Months

Six months ago today, Brandon and I paced nervously in a hotel room in Guangzhou, China. We made the bed. Straightened the nightstands. Hid the luggage in the bathroom. Cleared off the desk. Tried to watch TV on one of the three English language channels provided, waiting anxiously for the moment that would change our family's life and that of an orphan's forever. In our minds we pictured a scared little girl. A quiet, reserved, scared little girl with speech delays, developmental delays related to three years spent in an orphanage, and who may be painfully small for her age, as many Chinese orphans are. A little girl with chicken pox, who may feel feverish and itchy and be quiet and cuddly like my other kids are when they feel sick. She may want nothing to do with mom and dad for a few days, and we may not be able to get her to eat anything but rice.

The phone rang. The little three year old orphan was on her way up to our room with her entourage.

But it wasn't an orphan that we met that day in that hotel room in China.

It was our daughter.

And after a couple of short moments of hesitation on her part, we were her mommy and daddy.

Instead of speech delays, Emerson chattered non-stop in Mandarin to everyone she saw.

Instead of developmental delays, she appeared to be a completely normal three year old.

Painfully small for her age? Nope. On the day we got her, Emerson was the size of a normal American three year old. It's likely that she was actually big for her age for a Chinese child.

Instead of a picky eater, the girl joyfully eats almost everything put in front of her, including but not limited to, soup, grits, squash, refried beans, and salad.* (*Five foods our other children will not touch with a ten foot pole.)

The chicken pox appeared unnoticed by our newest daughter, except for a couple of itchy moments over the following days.

And quiet and reserved? Not for a second. God did not give us an orphan six months ago, He gave us a daughter, and she was as chattery and outgoing as any of our other kids have ever been from the get go.

A sassy daughter, who loves to wear big hair bows and skirts and pose for pictures.

Some days are easy, others are definitely rough. As time goes by, the good days are outweighing the rough days more and more. Six months later, the orphan who chattered non-stop in Mandarin has transformed into a little girl who speaks mostly English now, who loves to color, talk on the phone, play with her siblings, and pray at bedtime. We hardly even notice the birth defect in her mouth, the cleft palate that qualified her as "special needs" and allowed us to bring her home much faster than had she been "healthy". Sometimes God's gifts look like mistakes and imperfections, but she could not be more perfect for us.

I am so, so thankful for the gift she has been to our family, and I still can't believe sometimes how she just fits. The personality, the sass, the bad teeth, the affinity for Mexican food. She just fits in with the rest of us as if she was born to be our daughter.

And, bless her heart, she has the same horrible dance moves as the rest of us too.

We love you so, so much, Emerson, and we're so thankful that God picked us to be your parents. I wouldn't trade these last six months for the world.

Adoption Stories

One of the blogs I sometimes read (hello there, Other Harper!), Kelly's Korner is sharing adoption stories today.

I don't have one specific post talking about our adoption, but if you're interested in reading about our journey to Emerson, there is an "adoption" tag on the right sidebar. This past September we brought our beautiful three-year old daughter Emerson home from China. Here are a few of the highlights:

What We've Really Been Up To (Aug. 2008)

Year In Review (July 2009)

Paperwork Done (Jan. 2010)

Referral Day! (March 2010)

Did You Hear? Have You Seen Her? (March 2010)

To Emerson on her Birthday (June 2010)

FAQs (July 2010)

Where I Try to Figure It Out (July 2010)

Thank You (Sept. 2010)

Gotcha! (Sept. 2010)

More Gotcha! (Sept. 2010)

It's been quite the journey so far, and it just keeps getting better. God has blessed us so, so much!

I Have My Grandmother's Knees

...and my mother's long, skinny fingers.

And, heaven help me, my dad's sense of humor.

My face looks a little bit like my mom's, and a lot like my sister's. And a whole lot like Harper's.

I have a scar on my right eye from a pair of forceps and an obstetrician posed with the task of delivering a 9 pound baby from my 115 pound mother.

I was almost named Amy.

I took Emerson to the Social Security office today to apply for her card. As I was going through her paperwork from China, I stumbled on a notarized group of papers that we were given that I honestly had not looked at before this morning. It was a certificate of abandonment. It formally states that Emerson was found on June 9, 2007, on the "side board" of one of the police stations in Shenzhen City, China.

She was four days old.

Her biological mother spent four days with her, then made the heartbreaking decision to abandon her. We will never know for sure "why". Was she scared because of Emerson's cleft lip and palate? Was she pressured by her extended family to give her up? Did she think her daughter would receive better medical care if she was in the care of the government? Did her baby have a name? Did she leave her by the police station and then stand off and watch to make sure that someone found her baby? Did she ever imagine that Emerson would be adopted by an American family, and go home to Texas to live with her parents and three siblings?

It hit me as I stared at this piece of paper that I only have scraps of information about the first 40 months of Emerson's life.

The name of the orphanage.

A handful of pictures.

A couple of hospital reports.

I have no idea, and will never know, who her biological parents were. Based on where she was abandoned, I can make a guess as to what part of town her mother was from, but that's as close as we will ever get.

Who did Emerson get her big eyes from? Her thick hair? Her knock-knees? Her double-jointedness? Her sweet round cheeks?

I hate that I don't know. I hate that someday my little girl will have a thousand questions that I won't be able to answer. I hate that she will forever wonder. I hate not knowing, as a parent, how much information to give her and when. I hate knowing that we missed our opportunity, while in China, to visit that police station. To take a picture of it for when she is older. I hate knowing only tidbits of my daughter's first three years. I hate knowing that there are millions of orphans who will never know answers. I hate the dichotomy of being angry that she was abandoned, yet also knowing that these decisions eventually brought Emerson home to us.

Because I love this girl.

Her facial expressions.

And her spunky attitude.

The way she shovels rice and beans into her mouth at Mexican restaurants as if she has never had a delicacy quite so delicious.

And her precious little knock-knees.

Thank You

We leave for China in just a couple of hours to bring Emerson home, and as I sit here and think about the journey our family has taken over the last year or so, I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you.

Thank you for praying for us.

Thank you for being supportive.

Thank you for asking me how the adoption was going. It showed me that you were interested in big things that were going on with my family.

Thank you for giving us clothes for Emerson to wear.

Thank you for giving us a dresser for her room.

Thank you for sweet surprises for Emerson: the personalized t-shirts, the beautiful handmade sweater, the non-white girl dolls, the beautiful quilt and matching bag, the backpack full of fun toys that three year old girls would enjoy.

Thank you for the unexpected financial support. It is something we never asked for, and never expected to receive. It meant so, so much more to us than numbers on a bank statement. It meant that you believed in us, and in what God was calling us to do in our family. It lifted our spirits when the numbers looked discouraging, it encouraged us to trust that God would indeed find a way for our family to bring our daughter home.

Thank you for giving me your work shifts. It enabled our family to help pay for this long and expensive process.

Thank you for babysitting Dane, Aidan, and Harper. This entire year, while I've been working more than I have in several years, we have had the peace of mind of knowing that our children have been cared for by people we love and trust. Friends we have known for years, who were in situations that enabled them to watch our children for us. We are so, so grateful for you. Friends out of work, students out of school, grandparents needing their grandbaby fix. We never could have imagined that our childcare situation would have "worked out" as well as it did, so I could work as much as I have.

Thank you for taking our children into your home while we are in China for longer than I want to be gone. Thank you for loving us, and for loving them for us while we're away. Thank you for getting them dressed, feeding them, hugging them, tucking them in at night.

Thank you for taking our children to school while we are gone and helping share the burden.

Thank you for taking a couple of days off of work so you can come to town and watch our children while we are gone.

Thank you for helping us get plane tickets.

Thank you for praying for us.

A sweet friend who is much wiser than me shared this quote by AW Tozer yesterday:

"God is looking for people through whom he can do the impossible--what a pity that we plan only the things that we can do by ourselves."

A year ago, I had big plans to do this ourselves. The decision to proceed with an international adoption was ours, a "lifestyle choice" that we were making for ourselves, and it was no one else's responsibility to have to pay for it or support it. I actually said these words to Brandon last fall. After all, I am a grown up and I can do it myself.

Oh, how the prideful are humbled.

This last year would have been impossible by ourselves. Pure and simple. We could not have done it alone. God knew this way, way before I did, and it has been 12 months of lessons learned. Twelve months of being humbled over and over, of seeing God work, of answered prayers, of being reassured that yes, this is what God wants for our family.

And I can't believe that in just 5 short days Emerson will be with us forever. Then the real fun begins. I have no doubt that these next 12 months will be just has humbling as these last 12 have been.

Please pray for us over these next couple of weeks, and for the next couple of months as we all get used to our new family.

Thank you.

These Boots Were Made for Walkin'

I have no actual song lyrics to go with these pictures. Turns out, it's kind of a trashy song, especially when paired with ridiculously cute pictures of your one year old.

And now on to something completely unrelated...These next few weeks on my calendar make me want to cry. What I wouldn't give for two weeks to just spend every waking moment with Brandon and the kids, lots of quality time, making sure that the house is spotless and ready for our new addition before we leave for our 2+ weeks in China.

Because when we come back, our lives will be different forever. And it may take a few weeks or months for this girl to realize that it has changed for the better:

But now? Now we have a breakneck work schedule that I set up before I knew we were traveling, a mini-family vacation, the first day of school for Dane (we will be in China for Aidan's first day of school. Insert massive amounts of Mom-guilt HERE), Aidan's water-themed backyard birthday party, cleaning the house for the Home Team that will be staying here and helping us with the kids, packing for them, packing for us, and just in general figuring out all the little logistical details involved with our trip. And I think I can justifiably say that I NEED to get a haircut before I leave. If you have seen me recently, you know that this is in fact a NEED, not a WANT.
And then I look at this face, and all I want to do is sit on the floor and read The Very Busy Spider 100 times a day.
And don't even get me started on the adoption books. Though there's only one on my nightstand right now, the more forums and blog posts I read, the more I realize that there are about 1000 books relating to adoption. For about 1000 different issues that your child may or may not have. For every horror story there is a wonderful story, and it's impossible to know what you should have been prepared for until issues arise. Or don't arise, however the case may be. I have decided to not make myself any crazier between now and September 1 (aka Leaving Day) by trying to cram anxiety-inducing literature into my brain. I will bring it on the trip, we will have an hour or 23 to kill on the plane, and I'm sure my anxiety level will be at an all time high by that point anyway.

Please don't ask me to explain why the above paragraph is bold. Figuring it out is not on my TO DO LIST TODAY.

I'll leave you with this pretty face, which I won't get to see for two whole weeks:

Provision

(Edited from numerous phone calls and e-mails last week):

Me: Mom, we're working on booking our flights to China. A while ago you mentioned something about maybe having enough credit card points to help us with one of the round trip tickets?

Mom: Let me do some checking.

Me: Okay, our flights are going to be a little complicated. We fly out of Houston into one city, then two weeks later, fly out of a different city back to Houston. With a child who will be flying one way internationally on a Chinese passport. So I don't know if points will help us with a flight or not, since it's not as simple as a round trip ticket.

Mom: (insert who-only-knows how many minutes of internet checking/phone calls)

Mom: I can get flights for you and Brandon, both ways, and a one way flight for Emerson. I'll use 176,000 of my reward points, but it will cost you about $1400 total.

Me: Seriously? Because the tickets we have been looking at cost $1500-$2500 apiece, plus Emerson's ticket. We really might be able to get all three for less than the cost of one ticket? And do you really have 176,000 reward points saved up?

Mom: No, I have 177,000 reward points.


So for those of you who have been praying for our adoption, and for God's provision, THANK YOU. By some miracle of miracles, we are getting international airfare for the three of us for less than the cost of one plane ticket.

This week on the agenda: working with the travel agency in China to finalize the rest of our travel plans! Fingers crossed that we don't get robbed with outrageous pricing that we can't really control. More prayers this week would be greatly appreciated!

To China, To China

Guess where we're going?

In just a few short WEEKS?

We got our Travel Approval last Thursday, and learned that we will be going to get Emerson in "early September"! YAY! And YIKES! We're still waiting to hear what our actual travel dates our, which are dependent on various appointments that we will be attending once we are over there. Our travel dates cannot be set until our appointments are finalized, and our flights cannot be purchased until we know our travel dates. And this mommy is trying not to panic with the realization that these INTERNATIONAL FLIGHTS do not get any cheaper the later you buy them!

UPDATE: BREAKING NEWS! We will have Emerson in our arms on September 6! Happy Labor Day to me!

We have about a million little details to finalize between now and then, in addition to having some sort of a "mini-cation" for a couple of days and having some sort of birthday party for Aidan. Traditionally, Aidan's big birthday party is on the Sunday of Labor Day weekend, so it looks like we're going to have to have it well before then.

Lots of prayers for my sanity and for God's provision would be greatly appreciated over this next month or so. :)

Dane Date

Brandon left this past Sunday for two weeks in Pasadena, California as part of his Masters program, taking Mac the Mac with him. Before he left, I wrote out a couple of blog posts with pictures and scheduled them to post while he was gone and I was Photoshop-less. Fortunately, I am borrowing a back-up laptop so that I'm not completely computer-less!

It's always a bit of a challenge when Brandon is gone, this summer more than usual. He will have been gone 4 out of 6 weeks this summer, and I am always searching for ways to be more of the "fun mom" while he's gone, and less of The Enforcer, since Fun Daddy is not here to balance that out. Does anyone else's house work that way?

I had an appointment to get to this afternoon, and had decided to hire a babysitter for half a day and use the time to get a bunch of errands done and take a 27 pound box of books to the post office, which is on the list of things that I Would Rather Poke My Eyeballs Out Instead Of Doing With My Three Kids. Is there a magic time to go to the post office when there is no line? Because I haven't found it.

Where was I...this morning we woke up and I decided that what I really needed was a date with my Dane. I haven't been on a date with him in a while, so we left Aidan and Harper with our sweet babysitter (and Aidan played AND WON about 4 board games with big brother gone), and we headed out. At Dane's request, we lunched at Schlotzsky's and then headed to Half Price Books in search of another book from his new favorite series. He has started reading books in the Geronimo Stilton series, (there's about 45 books) and Half Price Books didn't have a single. one. So we hustled down the street to the Barnes and Noble and picked up a couple before we raced to my appointment. We also made it to Kid 2 Kid to sell a few clothes, and Dane picked out hair accessories for both of his little sisters: hairclips with ostrich feathers, fake flowers, and a big rhinestone in the center ("look, it has a diamond, mom!") for Harper and Emerson. They may look like Vegas showgirls wearing them, but it's the thought that counts. We had a great afternoon, and I loved spending some one-on-one time with my biggest.

We are expecting to hear from our adoption agency any day now about our travel approval. Families usually get it about 3-4 weeks after their Article 5 letter is sent to the CCAA, and ours was sent on July 9. I'm actually hoping we get the approval next week, because once we do, I will be a panicked mess trying to arrange travel details, flights, childcare, etc., and frankly, next week is less busy.

Checking the mail at our house continues to be a little bit like Christmas. I got the CUTEST goodies for Emerson yesterday from my Aunt Betsy, and I can't wait to post pictures when Brandon gets back. Speaking of Emerson, what do 3-year old little girls play with? I realized recently that she may not be interested in footballs and Legos and dinosaurs. Do they play dress up when they're three? Anyone know where I can find a baby doll that looks more Chinese and less white-girl?

Putting it into Words

I'm having a hard time processing this adoption so far, putting my thoughts into words, if you will.

Somewhere along the line it became about something more than adding another daughter to our family. It became about more than Brandon and me wanting four children.

Somewhere along the line it became about faith. And God. And what happens when, despite all logic, despite all the little reasons why something "can't" or "shouldn't" be done, what happens when you do what God wants you to do, even when you have no idea how you're going to do it.

What happens when doubt creeps in, fear about what this will do to your perfect little family, that split second when you wonder if you've made the right decision. God steps in, and says yes. And shut up, a little. And it's the most humbling feeling in the world, to realize in a very tangible way that you are an idiot. That God has this totally taken care of, and who are you to worry, even a little bit. Because "Don't worry, God is in control" are very easy words to say, and they look so pretty embroidered on pillows, but very hard sometimes to really know to your core.

I'm not quite ready to go into details about how God has made a way, financially speaking, for this adoption to happen. Let's just say, I would have been less surprised if little green gnomes had appeared on my doorstep with a nap-sack full of money. While pigs flew in the sky behind them and I danced with rhythm.

I remember several years ago, before I had any children, having a conversation with a single girlfriend. She had just returned from a mission trip to Romania, and had spent a lot of time serving in a Romanian orphanage. She came home wanting to immediately return, to move to Romania and adopt a houseful of children. I remember saying something to her along the lines of "I think adoption is great. But I think you have to really want to adopt a child, and not do it because you feel like you "should", and Brandon and I just don't have any desire to adopt."

Young Mandy would have laughed if you told her that in just a few years, she would be adopting her fourth child. And then she probably would have cried.

I remember sitting in a youth conference as a youth leader, and hearing a man speak about prayer. He had been journaling his prayers, and the ways they were answered, for upwards of 25 years. I remember sitting there in awe, thinking to myself, "No one can ever tell that man that God doesn't exist." That's kind of how I feel today. No one can ever tell me that God doesn't exist, or that He's not behind this adoption 100%.

When Aidan was about a year old, we started trying to get pregnant again. What we didn't realize, that about the same time that our disappointment set in, another mother a world away was pregnant with our daughter. It's so hard in those moments to appreciate the fact that God's got it under control, and will give you exactly the family that He wants you to have, because in that moment, you are so very caught up in your plans. And how could His plans possibly be better than your own?

Thanks for hanging in there with me through this pieced together, disjointed post. I was reading this morning about what Mike observations on worship, and I am having a very face-down type of day.

FAQ's: Adoption Edition

The adoption is truckin' along and we're getting closer and closer to bringing Emerson home, and I thought I would take a few minutes to answer some FAQs that I've been hearing quite a bit. I LOVE talking about our adoption process, and it never bothers me to share our journey with others and answer the same questions over and over :)

Q: So when is she going to be here?

A: We are expecting to bring Emerson home sometime in late September or October. Lots of little steps have to be taken before she is legally ours, and legally an American citizen. If everything goes smoothly, we should have our travel approval around the end of August, and will plan to travel 3-6 weeks after that. Our travel dates are ultimately determined by appointments with Chinese officials, and we may not know our exact travel dates until 2-3 weeks before we actually go.

Q: Oh, so you have to travel to China?

A: Yes, Brandon and I will take an approximately 2 week trip to China to get Emerson. She will join us about 3 or 4 days into the trip, and will travel with us home.

Q: Two weeks?? Um, don't you have other kids? Kids with school and preschool and diapers? What are you doing with Dane, Aidan, and Harper during that time?

A: Um, we haven't figured out all the details yet. The short answer is some friends from church who love us very much will probably be tag-teaming kid duty while we're gone. We've told Dane and Aidan that they will probably get to have lots of slumber parties with their buddies. Dane will be in school, so them going to stay with family out of town is not really an option, and both sets of grandparents have to work. Have I mentioned how much I love my church family? I'm not going to worry too much about the childcare details until we get our travel dates nailed down.

Q: How on earth are you paying for an international adoption? I thought those were super expensive. Did you have to sell a kidney?

A: Well, just one kidney. ;) I'll have specific stories of how God has provided for our family to tell later. Lots and lots of extra work shifts, a couple of generous and unexpected gifts, and a hefty tax return are just some of the ways we have paid for the adoption fees so far. We applied for several grants through non-profit organizations who assist people with adoption expenses, but were declined. We have about $10,000 still to pay for our international flights and in-China travel expenses, and I'm very excited to see how God will work all that out for us. If our family can afford adoption, anyone can.

Q: So, Emerson doesn't speak English. How's that going to work out?

A: Needless to say, Brandon and I are expecting some very frustrating weeks at first. As far as we know, Emerson doesn't speak or comprehend any English at all. It may be much like communicating with a baby, except she is a three year old, who is more like a two year old developmentally. We expect her to pick up English quickly, but expect it to take a full year for her to "catch up" all the way. Based on the information we have been given, she has some pretty significant speech and language delays, not unusual given that she has been institutionalized for three years and has a (partially repaired) cleft palate. She will be starting speech therapy as soon as we get her home, and will initially be under the medical care of physicians who specialized in treating internationally adopted children.

Q: So what are you doing now, adoption-wise?

A: Brandon and I will very soon be applying for our Visas to travel to China. Visas are required for anyone entering China.

Q: What do the kids think about all of this?

A: They are pretty excited about getting a new sister. We pray for Emerson with the boys when we say their bedtime prayers, and they love to look at the picture that we have of her. They know that she does not speak English, and they are excited about "helping her learn about stuff." We are working hard to make this whole experience a positive one for all of our children, but expect there to be a rocky period of transition when we get home.

Thanks for praying for us, and supporting us as we continue our journey. Brandon and I are so blessed to have such a strong network of support in our friends and family!

Happy Birthday, Hot Brandon

Our adoption agency celebrated my hubby's birthday today by sending us some new pictures and updated information about Miss Emerson. After much debating and compromising, she has a name. Meet Emerson JingLong:

I cannot wait to kiss those squishy cheeks!

And from what I can see, she has more hair than the other three kids put together.

They also sent us a little bit more information that we had requested, like vaccine records (she's the only one of my children to have been vaccinated for Japanese encephalitis!) and updated development information. And she looks a bit solemn in the picture because the pediatrician had requested a picture of her with her mouth closed.

It's so hard to know that she is far away, and that we won't be able to get her for several more months. Some of you have asked, and the wait time until we travel involves several factors, and right now we are waiting for the first of two approval notices to come from USCIS (Citizenship and Immigration). We are expecting to wait about another month for this first approval, then we will immediately apply for the second approval that we need.

We miss you sweet Emerson, and we can't wait to meet you. Your brothers pray for you, they pray that you are safe and healthy, and that there is someone there who shows you that they love you. We pray that somehow you know that you are loved by your family who lives halfway around the world.

Just a few more months, sweet girl.

Oh, weekend.

I'm going to need another weekend to recover from my weekend!

Friday after an 8 hour shift (7am-3pm, aka the "princess shift") Brandon and I, along with a couple of buddies, left the kiddos with a sitter and loaded up in the van to head out to a wedding. The three Minivan Ladies (not to be confused with the Pink Ladies from Grease) found ourselves all matchy-matchy wearing black and white print outfits and carrying red purses. I would love to say that no one at the wedding noticed. And I would love to say that I had my camera and was able to properly document the moment, but we didn't think to take a picture until 12:30 that night, after the wedding and music and buffet and pie and it was dark outside and we resorted to snapping a quick picture with a camera phone while we stood in front of the van headlights for light in a parking lot. Nope, we're way better planners than that.

It's still a little strange for me when our youth group kids get married. Especially when they're marrying each other. I just have to remember that they are grown ups now, and not 15 anymore, even though Brandon and I have not aged a bit. We had a great time crying at the beautiful ceremony, then laughing till we cried while catching up with old friends at the reception. And did I mention pie? When we had wedding-ed ourselves out, we headed a mere 5 minutes away to House of Pies and squished all 6 of our (non-tiny) selves into a booth and enjoyed some of Houston's best comfort food.

Our 1 am return to our house would not have been an issue Friday night had I been able to sleep past 7am Saturday morning. And not had a 12 hour shift to work on Saturday. Fortunately, my shift was 11am-11pm at my new favorite place to work. Unfortunately, that put me to bed after midnight again. Only to get up pre-7am on Sunday morning. Ugh. I am just not someone who can function well without being overly cranky on this kind of sleep schedule. Sunday brought a full day of church, a couple of meetings, and youth group Sunday night. My kids ate two meals of Little Ceasar's Pizza for lunch and dinner at church, and they got to play with their church buddies quite a bit. One of their friends, a little girl a couple of years older than Dane, had a birthday Saturday and had some new play-makeup to show my boys. I picked them up, and Dane informed me that "whoever invented lipstick is a genius, mom. A genius."

Indeed, Dane.

Monday finds me catching up on all the housework that I haven't done these past few days. I took whatever free time I had yesterday to "Sabbath", looked around at the dishes in the sink, the clean laundry waiting to be put away, and the toothpaste all over the boys' bathroom, and decided that it would all still be there today. And unfortunately, it was. I'm enjoying spending today at home, because tomorrow will be spent on errands and more of the never ending adoption paperwork.

The travel documents I overnighted to Oregon last week are being returned to us because I forgot to initial 2 pages, and I am sending papers to Immigration tomorrow requesting to adopt a 3 year old, instead of the younger child that they gave us permission to adopt last fall.

All while my daughter sits in an orphanage halfway around the world, without her mommy and daddy.

Did You Hear? Have You Seen Her??

Did you see her? Our new daughter?

I got a call yesterday from our adoption agency asking if I was interested in a referral. 35 days after we sent our paperwork to China. After all the hyperventilating (on my end, not hers) stopped, she proceeded to give me a brief introduction to our little girl.

This precious little girl is 2 years and 9 months old, and will be over 3 when we bring her home later this year (probably in the fall). She has been in an orphanage since she was about a week old, and was born with a cleft lip and cleft palate (unilateral left cleft lip with III degree cleft palate extending from the lip and bisecting the uvula, for those of you who are interested). As you can see from the picture, the cleft lip has been repaired, and the first of what will likely be several surgeries has been done to repair the cleft palate. We were expecting (and actually hoping) to receive a referral for a child with this type of problem, and were pleasantly surprised to learn that the surgical repairs had already begun. The most recent medical updates I have are from last October.

We were given brief medical reports and information about her growth and development, and she appears to be a healthy little girl other than the cleft. And she's potty trained. Can I get an AMEN?

As I was reading her information that was provided about her, and looking at the three pictures I had, several things caught my attention:

--She shares a birthday with GG. Baby girl was born on June 5, 2007 on my grandmother's birthday. My family is notoriously stingy with our birthdays. I share March 26 with my mother and Harper, Aidan shares a birthday with my cousin, and my Dad shares with a couple of cousins. So it seemed only fitting that our daughter should have a birthday buddy.

--I have honestly been praying for a child with a cleft lip. We had told our agency that we would be open to adopting a girl with a cleft or a heart defect, and I have been secretly terrified of having a child with a heart defect. Even a minor, correctable heart defect, I was afraid of the anxiety it would bring me. I have also been praying that our daughter would be at least a year older or younger than Harper. I knew they would be close in age, but I wanted their to be a definite "older" and "younger" sister.

--Dane is 20 months older than Aidan, and Aidan is about 3 and a half years older than Harper. This little girl is 22 months younger than Aidan, and 21 months older than Harper. She just fits perfectly.

--Um, we don't know what her name is going to be. Her name right now is Long Jing Yan, and we will be changing it. However, Brandon and I have a documented history of incisiveness when it comes to naming little girls, and the same naming guidelines apply as when we were naming Harper. We are maybe willing to consider a slightly-more-adventurous name, but I have a feeling we will be referring to her as "our little girl" more often than not. As always, name suggestions are welcomed!

As overjoyed as we are right now, I feel a physical ache more than ever today for other families, for friends of ours who are also adopting and waiting for a child. For families who have been patiently waiting and preparing for much longer than we have to welcome a child into their family. Families who are much more "ready" than we are. It's just not fair. And I pray for those parents-to-be every night.

My mind is full right now. We will send our "letter of intent" to our agency tomorrow morning to secure our referral, and I basically have no idea what the next step is from here. I haven't really been paying attention, because I was expecting to wait several more months for a referral, if not a year. I do remember reading that referral time to travel time (when we actually get her) is an estimated 5 to 8 months. We have to get approval and documents from US Immigration, and from governmental agencies in China (don't I sound all kinds of knowledgeable?), so we are expecting to bring her home before Christmas.

I've already been mentally preparing myself for adding another one into our family. I know that I will be bringing home a three year old with speech and language delays, who presumably does not understand or speak English and has been institutionalized for her entire life. A precious, beautiful little girl who will need multiple surgeries to repair a birth defect inside her mouth, and probably major dental reconstructive work.

And I couldn't be more thankful. More grateful to God for entrusting us to parent this baby. More excited about telling Dane and Aidan about the little sister they have been praying for every night (which we will be doing today).

I feel an odd sense of peace about all the uncertainties, because I know that this is our daughter, our little girl, and God selected US to be her parents. And we will be bringing her home.

Introducing...

...our new daughter

Our adoption agency called me this morning to give us a referral on this precious little girl. She'll be coming home later this year. More information tomorrow.

Happy day.