Tough Mudder

A few months ago, a friend of Brandon's asked him if he was interested in running a Tough Mudder with him.

What on earth is a Tough Mudder?  10-12 miles, outside, through mud and a couple dozen obstacles involving water, mud, electricity, climbing, and jumping.

Sounds fun, right?

Yeah, doesn't sound like fun to me either.

But to Brandon?  Hey, Brandon, here's a run on a course with challenges designed by British special forces, was described by an army doctor I know as "the hardest thing I've ever done, way harder than anything I ever had to do for the army", and you have to sign something called a "death waiver" before they'll let you participate.  Who makes you sign the death waiver?  The team of 5 lawyers that work full time at Tough Mudder HQ.

Yes, yes this sounds like a smart thing to do.  At one point a month or so ago, Brandon went to the orthopedic doctor because his knee was acting up, and I actually remember thinking, "It would be nice if the doctor recommended a little orthoscopic knee surgery maybe to clean out some torn cartilage.  Nothing requiring major rehab, just a minor surgery to knock the training off course just enough that Brandon wouldn't be able to do the Tough Mudder.  That way he doesn't have to do the electricity thing with all the water and the death waiver."  Yup.  I wished knee surgery on my husband so he wouldn't run in this stupid race.

Instead, that stupid orthopedic doctor told Brandon that his knee would be fine, and to come in before the race for a cortisone shot so it wouldn't bother him during the run.

Thankyouverymuch, ortho doc.  Maybe you didn't understand the gist of the plan, here.

Turns out, I had nothing to worry about.

Brandon and three friends headed out early on a Saturday morning, and posed for a nice clean pre-race picture.  And Brandon was wearing some of those teeny tiny shorts favored by bicyclists and triathletes.

Then they (and a bunch of other crazy people, including Aunt Val and Uncle Izzy)

did a lot of this

and then this

till they were very tired and disgusting

then they posed for more pictures after climbing over a giant pile of hay

until they finished (after Brandon DITCHED the rest of his team about 2/3 of the way through) all tired and yucky and muddy, but wearing cool orange sweatbands.

Thankfully, all four crazies came back safe and sound and in one piece.  Until next year, Tough Mudder!

Thor and the Flower Girl

Some weekends are relaxing.  

Very ho-hum.

The kind of weekend where you don't get out of your pajamas until 1pm on Saturday, and watch college football all day with pizza.

And other weekends are like last weekend (and the weekend before that, for that matter).  

What did we do last weekend?  Enough that it's taken me a full 5 days to recover from it and blog about it.  Thursday-Sunday last weekend found us at one rehearsal dinner, one wedding, one swim meet, one baby shower, one birthday party, and two graduation parties.  In short, a lot of cake to muster up the willpower to NOT eat.

Emerson was privileged to precede her beloved Miss Kylie The Babysitter down the aisle Friday night.

With a fresh mani-pedi (thank you for including her, Miss Kylie!) and her sassy new boots.  Because clearly this girl needs more sass.

The wedding went off without a hitch, and the flower girl stood on her penny on the ground for the whole ceremony.

High five, Emerson!

And look!  I was there, too.  Please excuse the very bright cell phone flash.

Emmy was excited to discover that she got to eat a giant plate of mashed potatoes at the reception.

And pixie sticks (fed to her by Daddy) from the "candy bar".  Thank you, dear husband, for feeding the (already very excited and energetic) little girl flavored sugar at 10pm.

The fun didn't stop there.  Saturday afternoon (after the swim meet and the baby shower), I ran home to find this guy and the kids loaded up in the van to leave for the birthday party:

Thor God of Thunder riding shotgun in the minivan.  Eat your heart out, ladies.

There's a perfectly good explanation for Brandon transforming (very convincingly, I might add) into Thor for our Saturday evening.

A sweet family at our church has a little boy who is obsessed with Thor and All Things Avengers.  Sweet Little Boy had a super-fun birthday party, and Thor's presence was requested.  Truth be told, we had a blast, and a certain someone was pretty excited about getting to wear his costume again...

And he thinks it's pretty cool to have his own action figure...

Our weekend wrapped up on Sunday with church, two more parties, and no additional superhero costumes :)

Up next:  A sneak peek at Emerson's birthday dinner.

Guess Who's Back...

Brandon got home last night from a 16 day trip to Kenya, and a few people were pretty happy to see him.


As soon as I lay hands on some pictures from his trip (Who goes to Kenya and doesn't take a single picture? My husband, that's who.) I'm going to spend a couple of posts sharing with you exactly what his trip entailed. Several people who read this blog contributed financially for Brandon to make the trip, and I just wanted to take a minute to say Thank You. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you. Our church ponied up about $24,000 and some change to send this group to serve, and the participants, including Brandon, raised the remaining amount themselves.



Beaded necklaces made of magazines



He has too many stories, about too many people, for me to tell today, I'm hoping I can convince Hot Brandon to guest blog a bit next week. One thing he did a lot of in Kenya? Shopping.



He may have done it under the guise of "supporting local small business owners", but non-the-less, Brandon came home with a brand new suitcase filled with beaded jewelry and purses for his girls, and bows and arrows, spears, shields, and swords for his boys. All four of the kids got drums.





All four of the kids got drums.


Brandon's officially never leaving the country again.

He's A Winner

I got an excited telephone call while I was at work yesterday.

I won something! And I never win anything!

It's true. Neither one of us ever win anything because we rarely/never play the lottery, surrender our mailing address with the vague promise of being put into a drawing for a Caribbean cruise, or buy raffle tickets where you have something like one in one thousand chance of winning a big ticket item. (Sidenote: I know someone who won a Camero in a band raffle. They paid $100 for a raffle ticket, and won a Camero. I also know someone who won an ipad in a raffle. I figure just knowing them lowers my chance of winning anything in a raffle ever.)

Brandon apparently got on Facebook the other day and "liked" his Local Eye Doctor's Office (LEDO), where he has been a twice-yearly guest for the past 7 years or so. Unbeknownst to him, LEDO was giving away a pair of Ray Ban sunglasses to one of their Facebook followers. And low and behold, Brandon won.

Like many people my age, including Hot Brandon, I immediately associate Ray Ban sunglasses with this image:

A certain "cool-factor" is brought to mind when I hear the brand name.


Seeing as how all of our sunglasses up until know have been acquired at 1. WalMart or 2. gas stations, Brandon was appropriately in high spirits as he headed into LEDO to pick up his free pair of Ray Bans.

Five minutes later...

Brandon sends me this picture. Look what I won, honey!


Somehow it doesn't surprise me that the sure-to-be-cool sunglasses that Brandon wins are bright orange and closely resemble something I may or may not have worn in the sixth grade.

Seriously, did anyone know they even made RayBans in bright orange plastic? Do people who spend $230 on sunglasses that look like this know they can get the exact same thing for, like, $8 at WalMart?

Just Bullet Points, It's Been a Long Week

- Brandon's corneal transplant went well on Tuesday. He had a DALK procedure, and his surgeon was pleased with how it went. About 75% of his cornea was transplanted.

(If you look closely at this picture, you can see his old cornea "cone-ing out", it's that clear curve on top of his eye.)

He followed up with the doctor yesterday, and had his pirate patch removed. Brandon thought his vision was already slightly improved from his previous uncorrected vision, and it should continue to improve over the next several months.

- Harper got the memo that she is two years old now and it's time to start making your mother's life miserable. Girl is a HANDFUL and I can't turn my back for a minute with her. Last week I was doing laundry while the girls were playing (a little too quietly, in hindsight) upstairs. I sent Sentry Aidan upstairs with instructions to report back on the upstairs activities, and he said the dreaded words that every mother fears: "Mom, Harper got the bathroom door open and Emerson and Harper are playing in the TOILET!!"

I ran upstairs to find two little soaking-wet girls gleefully splashing around in the toilet with toothbrushes, and then sucking the potty water off of them. To make matters just a little more disgusting, the toothbrush Harper had found was an old grout-cleaning toothbrush from under the sink. Ew ew ew ew ew.

Harper also thinks she can bypass the baby gate on the stairs by squeezing her entire body through the stair railing. I came downstairs one morning to find that she had fit both legs and both arms through the railing, and was standing on the stairs with her head still on the other side of the railing. She thought that was such a good plan, only to find out that there was no way to fit her huge melon through the rail.

- My parents have been here for a couple of days this week. With all of the eye surgery and swing set assembling (another post for another time) and little girls, I don't know what I would have done without their help this week. Some of our friends from church have also helped out so much, with some child-chauffering and swing set assemblying. I am so grateful for all of the help, this has been an eventful week, to say the least.

-I had this post all set to publish yesterday, then blogger decided to take an unannounced vacation. Thanks so much, blogger.

- I'm pretty sure I'm due for an unannounced vacation, but I don't see that happening anytime soon.

The Eyes Have It

I can't remember if I've ever mentioned it here (chances are I have mentioned it, I've blogged about everything from my fake wood floors to my child screaming), but Brandon has a little issue with his eyes.

And by "little issue with his eyes", I mean "progressive eye disease that will eventually require him to have a corneal transplant". Brandon has keratoconus in both eyes, and we have know for several years now that he would eventually require corneal transplants.

I think we both just thought "eventually" was still several years down the road.

Turns out, "eventually" is tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow Brandon and I will head to the hospital, and a couple of hours later he will leave with a dead-guy cornea in his left eye. He will be under general anesthesia for the procedure, and will get his very own eye patch to take home with him! For several days (weeks?) he will have to take eye drops every 2 hours while he is awake, and be very cautious to not rub his eye, or get anything in his eye. Tonight we are going shopping for a couple of pairs of "fake glasses" to hopefully offer just a little bit of protection against the tiny bits of dirt and dust that we rub from our eyes without even giving it a second thought. And yes, Brandon (with the doctor's blessing) is spending a couple of weeks in KENYA next month. There's no dirt in the desert, right?

Just for the record, I'm not nervous about the surgery.

I'm not the slightest bit worried about the recovery period afterwards.

I'm not concerned that my husband, who cannot remember to finish his antibiotics, will forget to take the anti-rejection eye drops every two hours.

I know he will stay out of the Gaga pit on Friday, even though he scheduled a youth event out there. Because the nurse at his doctor's office actually laughed when I told her that he thought he could play dodgeball 3 days after a corneal transplant. Apparently, any stenuous activity, contact sports, bending below the waist and lifting are big no-nos after this eye surgery. Something about "delicate eye tissue" and "microscopic sutures".

But, though we're not worried, or concerned, or even the slightest bit nervous about a doctor slicing Brandon's cornea off his eyeball and replacing it with a dead-guy cornea, please say a little prayer for us tomorrow. And maybe the next day and the next few weeks, too, as Hot Brandon's eye heals up. Just to add to the (non-existent) anxiety, this is a surgery where the results are not immediate, and it may take up to a year to see the extent of its effectiveness. It's not even my eye, but I can imagine how nerve-wracking it may be to wake up with worse vision in your eye than what you had before, knowing that it could be a while before you know if the surgery has "worked" or not.

So please keep us, and my husbands pretty blue eyes, in your prayers tomorrow and this week. My non-worried brain would sure appreciate it.

On a lighter note, yesterday someone got to my blog by googling "how to trick your sister into licking your armpits". I really hope this little boy's parents are monitoring his google searches.

And his sister, too, for that matter.

He's 33 Now

Hot Brandon had a birthday on Tuesday. And I didn't blog about it.

It's been an unusual week, to say the least.

I should have known it was going to be a weird one when I pulled up to church on Sunday morning, and Brandon greeted me at the van with a bag of hair products in hand. He had run out of his his super-special conditioner, and his dry and thirsty locks just could not wait until grocery day (aka MONDAY). Brandon and his (getting longer everyday) hair stopped at the drugstore on the way to church Sunday morning and picked up some of his creme conditioner and leave-in mousse. But of course.

Later that day, Brandon met with the group he is going to Kenya with (did you know my husband is going to Kenya in a couple of months?), and they got some information about what is and what is not acceptable to wear on the trip. It appears that "the cargo shorts that you wear 350 days of the year" are on the Do Not Pack List. My extremely-hot-natured husband who is sweating RIGHT NOW, no matter what he is doing, was completely dumbstruck when he learned he was going to have to wear more clothes in the desert in the summer than he usually does in winter in Houston. Then Tim, the fearless trip leader, told Brandon about "adventure pants". Apparently, "adventure pants" are a little shorter than regular pants but longer than shorts, and are acceptable to wear on the Kenya trip.

Ladies? Do these look familiar?

Brandon can call them adventure pants if that makes him feel manlier, but I think we all know my husband will be trotting around Africa in capri pants.

Monday dawned with the opportunity for Brandon to reactivate his Man Card by building a Gaga pit at church. Yes, you read that right. Brandon, along with a couple of other guys, spent Monday building a Gaga pit in front of the church. There were drills and sawing and wood and splinters involved, and almost certainly no talk of split ends or deep conditioning or capri pants .

And what church doesn't have a Gaga pit? People who love Jesus need a place to play competitive Israeli dodgeball in an octagonal pit, too!

(*At a retreat earlier this year Brandon and the youth group played Gaga for 7 hours straight, and decided their lives would not be complete without immediate and continuous access to their very own Gaga pit. Have I ever mentioned how much I love our church?)

On Tuesday (aka Hot Brandon's birthday), Brandon had the very unusual privilege of spending the day at the hospital, where one of our youth leaders, CL, was donating a kidney to his brother in law. Happens every day, right? CL and his family learned a few months ago that their brother-in-law and close friend was going to be needing a kidney transplant, and went through the very complicated process of seeing if any of them were a match for him. What are the odds that one of them would be? Our friend and his brother-in-law came through surgery with flying colors, and CL will only have a faint scar on his belly button to show for the surgery.

Did you catch that? They pulled his kidney out through his belly button. Let that one sink in for a moment.

We wrapped up Tuesday with burgers, ugly chocolate cake, and the promise of new soccer shoes for the birthday boy.

Thankfully, Year 33 is beginning much more normal than 32 ended. The latter half of this week has been noticibly absent of construction projects, man-capris, and organ donations. This weekend we are attacking Easter with breakneck speed, with a crawfish boil, 3 consectutive ER shifts, egg hunting, and of course multiple church services and a little Gaga.

Because nothing celebrates the resurrection of Jesus our Savior like a little Israeli dodgeball.

Father's Day at Our House

Happy Father's Day to both of the dads that read this blog! Three days late! Welcome to my world, where minor holidays are often celebrated several days late, if at all. Please join us on July 7 for some fireworks.

For Father's Day this year, I took Dane and Aidan to WalMart with a $10 budget for each, and let them pick out gifts to give Brandon themselves. It was an interesting, fun experiment, to say the least. I loved watching them debate and consider items with the price in mind, and they were so proud of the gifts they picked out.

Here are Dane's selections:

A pocketknife, peppermints, ranch style beans, four scented candles, weird gummy candy shaped like food, and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

And Aidan's:

A water bottle, butterscotch candies, two scented candles ("blue because that's Daddy's favorite color!"), ranch style beans, Sour Patch Kids, and peanut M&Ms.

Interestingly enough, both the boys immediately thought of their daddy when they saw these on the shelf:

Nothing reminds them of their Daddy like ranch style beans and scented candles.

Hope your Father's Day was filled with fiber, scented candles, and gummy candies a-plenty.

10 Years and One Week Ago

...I married my best friend.

...I had mono and had lost so much weight before my wedding that I had to wear "falsies" in my wedding gown.

...I found myself almost stranded at the church after post-wedding pictures and had to hitch a ride in my dad's friends' minivan to the reception.

...those post-wedding pictures? They were shot on something called "film". Digital photography was not seriously in the picture in June 2000.

...I cut the first piece of a lemon-flavored seven layer wedding cake that stood taller than me.

...I had just finished my first year of nursing school and received the only "B" I would get in nursing school.

...I had furnished our first apartment with garage sale finds, including a tan and gold couch complete with cigarette burn holes and brass accents.

...Brandon and I looked forward to watching a brand new show on TV that summer called "Survivor". It was totally different than anything else on: a "reality" show, they called it.

...I never could have imagined how great the next 10 years of our married life would be, and that it was indeed possible for me to love him more than I did on our wedding day.

Happy Anniversary (a week late, par for the course), Hot Brandon!

So what were you doing 10 years and one week ago?

Show Us Your Life

I'm playing along with Kelly this morning (mainly because I've already written all of these posts, and just had myself a grand time re-reading them!). If you have a minute or 30, here's a series of posts explaining "How Brandon Became The Happiest Husband I Know":

First Impressions

A Few Years Later

FINALLY a First Date

And Then I Went Back to College

How To Propose To Your Girlfriend

The Wedding

Enjoy!