At least I didn't wear it in white, like everyone else does.
Dear Houston Area News Media,
Thank you so much for alerting me regarding the formation, tracking, projected path, possible destruction, wind speeds, expected rain amount, and bowel movements of Tropical Storm Eduoard. I really enjoyed all of the vintage footing of prior destruction caused by Hurricane Katrina in Louisiana. And of course, I think it is very appropriate to compare landfall of a Category 5 Hurricane in a sub-sea level town to a Tropical Storm headed directly for a wildlife reserve on the Texas coast. Also helpful was the advice regarding where to buy plywood and how much bottled water I needed to stock up on. Quick question: if this storm is going to be destructive enough to interrupt underground water lines and/or cause contamination in the water system, are 3 gallons of water really going to be sufficient? Aren't we better off just getting out of Dodge for a few days?
Thank you very much for keeping me posted on the fact that every school, daycare, and apparently, post office in the entire Houston area was closed for the day. Boy howdy, we sure do get excited about our possible storms here. I also appreciated the interview with the ill-informed vacationer in Galveston who notified your entire viewing area that she had "stocked up on cokes, chips, and snacks, and is ready to ride out the storm." Because that is truly the most helpful piece of information I could have received regarding storm preparation. (Note I did not say "hurricane preparation". It was NEVER A HURRICANE, HOUSTON NEWS MEDIA!!)
I guess all of the Wal-Mart shoppers in my area heeded her advice. On my Tuesday morning trip to Wal-Mart for chicken and a People magazine (don't laugh), I was startled to see that, yes, indeed, all of the chips were gone. I'm sorry not all. There were plenty of Cool Ranch Doritos. Apparently even people who anticipate starving during a storm will not even eat Cool Ranch Doritos. The bottled water/soda aisle and soup aisle had taken a hit as well. The inside of my Wal-Mart Tuesday morning was more of a disaster area than the outside was.
Thank you also for notifying me that my home 75 miles inland could expect up to 5 inches of rain yesterday. I was getting excited that perhaps I would not have to water my dead grass for a few days. Instead, we got a measly 1.5 inches of rain. It rained more than that on a wet day last week with much less fanfair. Excuse me for a moment while I go set my sprinklers to water today.
Okay, I'm back. Moving on.
The ramifications of your over-dramatized and innacurate reporting do not just affect us locals. The consequences are nationwide and far reaching. We have a college boy from Missouri who is interning at our church living with us for several weeks this summer. He was so excited about riding out his first tropical storm, and his sweet mother back in Missouri was worried about his safety, after seeing all of the re-run Hurricane Katrina footage and all. I think Josh was getting a little excited about the possibility of climbing to the roof in the midst of rising floods with only his 3 gallons of drinking water to sustain him. Well, that, and the protein bars he eats all the time.
Alas, we were not climbing to the roof yesterday, or even putting sandbags around the doors (you know, we may have gotten 5 inches of rain, people!) I spent the day popping popcorn for the "movie party" and playing about a dozen games of Candyland, since the swingset was too wet to play on.
Because, fellow Wal-Mart shoppers, Candyland and microwave popcorn are the real necessities of storm survival.
Someone should tell that vacationer in Galveston.
Last week Brandon, myself, and a bunch of high schoolers spent the week on a college campus in Carbondale, Illinois. I'm standing in the elevator of the student center, minding my own bidness, when a man walks into the elevator. He is middle age, with a beard, several layers of clothes on in July, and walking with a cane. He hands me a flier and says, "We're having a picnic. You should come." He gets off the elevator at the next floor and I promptly shoved the random picnic flier into my bag, to be forgotten for the next couple of days.
Look! I figured out how to post from You-Tube. This is not going to be good...
I watched this a couple of times and just laughed. Laughed and remembered my 2 weeks in Mexico as part of nursing school (yes, we got graded on going to San Miguel and shopping. It was a "cultural experience". I learned a lot about being a nurse on that trip...Sure.) I managed to come home with poco medical Spanish language skills.
Funny story (okay, funny may be stretching it a little). I was a pretty good student in high school. I coasted with As and a few Bs without actually having to try very hard. I was not a big fan of "challenging myself", so I stuck to pretty basic classes, and tried not to actually attend classes everyday. My post-high-school plans were already set in stone (see previous post). But I decided to take Spanish as my "2 years of foreign language" requirement. And honey, I almost did not GRADUATE because I almost failed Spanish 2 (a sophomore level class) when I took it my senior year. I ended up with a C plus, I think. I can say "Donde esta el bano" with the best of 'em.
I sympathize a bit with poor Mike here.
Okay, okay, my dad did not write this book. But isn't it cool that someone with his EXACT NAME wrote something called "I Watched a Wild Hog Eat My Baby"? Father's Day gifts do not get any more personal than this. Grandchildren and a cool book. You deserve it, Dad.
We can send a man to the moon. The internet is at our fingertips. My van has doors on it that I don't even have to open. Technology is truly amazing. But to my knowledge, blind people still cannot drive a vehicle.
Or can they?
Here are the words posted on the drive-up ATM machine outside of my bank:
"Audio assistance available for the vision impaired."
If a blind man is driving a car, he may have a little more to worry about than whether or not he has Fast Cash. Like the blind robber behind him waiting for him to pull his money out of the ATM. Or the blind bus driver with a busload of hemophiliac orphan children about to run into him. (This is an ER joke...this would be an ER's worst nightmare.)
My apologies to all of the blind people reading this. I'm sure they enjoyed the pictures of Brandon's play-doh car much better.
