How To Talk To Pregnant Strangers

Dear Random Guy at WalMart Today:

Let me start by saying that generally speaking, I love a friendly person.  Cranky people in public crowded places really add nothing to their environment. 

So I'm sorry, WalMart, I added nothing to your aisles today.

And hello, there, Random Guy.  Do I know you?  I have to stop and think for a moment, because that is the only good reason I can think of that you would be yelling "Well hello there, how are you doing today?"  From one end of the frozen aisle to the other, where I was standing.  As you approach, I can see that I do not, in fact, know you.  Unfortunately, that does not discourage you from asking me how I am feeling.  

Do you really want to know, Random Guy?  Because since you asked, my lower back is killing me, my pelvis feels like an arthritic 80 year old man every time I move or walk, a small person is using my bladder as a punching bag, and every time the baby moves, it makes me want to vomit.  And I'm so tired I actually contemplated skipping frozen foods and just going home for a nap.

But I'm guessing you don't actually want to know how I'm feeling.  So I reply, "Great!"  and attempt to keep walking.

But you, Random Guy, will not be deterred.  Because you have not invaded my privacy enough for one day.  You chase me down to the Stouffer's section (don't judge me for eating unhealthy frozen meals) and proceed to PUT YOUR HAND ON MY BELLY AND ASK ME IF I AM HAVING TWINS.

Let me offer a quick tutorial for those of you who have no idea how to speak to extremely pregnant women that you have never met before, yet feel compelled to converse with in public anyway.  First, never touch her belly.  You are a stranger, and if you are close enough to touch my pregnant belly, you are DEFINITELY in my personal space and need to scooch back just a tad.  Second, never ask if she is having twins.  This will never be well received by the pregnant woman, unless she is actually having quadruplets.  In that case, rest assured, she will not be wandering the aisles of WalMart late in her pregnancy.  Finally, never offer suggestions to the extremely pregnant woman regarding "how to go into labor".  Especially if aforementioned suggestions involve, um, intimacy and related positions.  

That one's for you, Random Lady at Target Five Years Ago.

For the record, if I have never met you, you will not hurt my feelings by not inquiring about my due date/current children in my family/size/what I'm having/if I'm having twins/if I'm done at three children/you must be so thrilled it's a girl.

What to do if you do see an extremely pregnant woman at the WalMart that you don't know?  How about helping her lift that dadgum case of water bottles she's trying to wrestle off the bottom shelf into her cart instead of standing there waiting for her to get out of the way, oh able-bodied male?

Oh what a joy and miracle pregnancy is, and yes, I am taking the time to enjoy every second of my last one.

Showered

Some friends from church (and Val) threw me a fantastical baby shower yesterday.  Complete with Pregnant Mandy Food (including pickle wraps and mini key lime pies) and tons of super cute baby girl gifts.  Here are my girls and I behind the table o' yumminess (they totally speak my love language.  And I have no idea why this entire paragraph is "bold").And yes, those are carrot cake cupcakes and cake balls and mini key lime pies and chips with ranch and french onion dip that you see.  The vegetable tray is just off to the side.

My mom, sister Lindy, and G.G. came down for the shower also:

By the way, this is as close as I'm getting to a "belly picture" this pregnancy.  I'm reaching that depressing phase of pregnancy in the final month where even maternity clothes are starting to not fit.  Nothin' else is fitting into this shirt I'm wearing here, folks.

Should I be depressed that my 90 year old grandmother is more fashionable than me?  She always looks so sassy.

And nothing is more fun than opening baby girl gifts.  Lots of pink, and lots of ruffled items and handmade goodies by my overly talented family and friends.  I have about 57 pictures of me that look pretty much like this, but with different super-cute girl items.

My church (as well as my family) has once again amazed and humbled me at their generosity.  I'm feeling quite a bit more prepared and relaxed than I felt just a couple of days ago, and Baby Girl is even the proud owner of approximately 30 pairs of socks!

Valentine's Day 2009

Best.  Valentine's.  Day.  Ever.

So good, that I'm just now getting around to blogging about it, several days later.

I spent Saturday with my Sweetie, and a bunch of other Sweeties as well.  Thank you, dozen or so ladies from church, for loaning us the Man Muscles from your house for a few short hours on Valentine's Day.  This grateful pregnant lady didn't have to lift a SINGLE BOX.  

Yes, Saturday was moving day.  We are officially BACK IN our house!  Saturday morning too many people for me to count showed up at 8:30 am to help us out.  They moved everything from storage, into our house, and even assembled furniture, and were done for the most part by about 11:30.  It could not have gone more smoothly.  Several of our good friends and family stayed at the house all day long, helping with unpacking, installing fixtures, and basically keeping Brandon and me motivated to KEEP UNPACKING.  We got the vast majority of the house unpacked on Saturday, and we could not be more thankful for our friends and family who helped.  (Have I mentioned before how much I love my church?  If you don't have a church, you should totally come to mine.)

The boys were ecstatic to be back in their "really real house" and play with all of the toys they haven't seen in 5 months.  I've also been motivated in the last few days to go through a bunch of our belongings and really weed out things we don't actually need and use on a fairly regular basis.  Like a bunch of clothes in my closet and the boys' toys.  For example, I realized I have an entire dresser full of scrubs that I don't wear (mainly because my department recently went to "all black" uniforms).  

Several boxes remain unpacked throughout our house, and the garage is still a basic nightmare to even look at, but slowly but surely life is returning to normal here.  Just in time for a "new normal" to start in about a month with Baby Girl's arrival...

Brandon started tiling the shower in our bathroom last night, and hopefully the project will be finished next weekend.  We have a bunch of family coming to town tomorrow and Sunday for my baby shower.  I have the baby's room as unpacked as I can get it at the moment.  The walls are primed but not yet painted, and my mother in law is making her crib bedding!  I am so excited to see it.  Of all things, Brandon and I could not agree on any girl crib bedding that we saw ANYWHERE.  I never would have guessed it of him, but Brandon was pretty insistent that her room look "pink and girly".  Who did I marry?  

I also realized today that Baby Girl does not own any socks, and for some reason this really disturbed me and served to highlight all of the ways we are "unprepared" for this baby.  We also have gotten rid of most of our baby gear, including the high chair, swing, bouncy seat, and bathtub.  And I'm not sure if the car seat survived the hurricane or not, as it resides in a box somewhere buried in our garage.  I am going to have to make a big trip to Babies R Us soon, but I'm putting it off as long as possible, as this will only create more boxes for me to unpack and stuff to put away.  

And do baby girls have to wear hair bows so that people know she is a girl?  I have no idea.  I only know boys.  Can she wear boy socks?  Is there a difference between boy socks and girl socks?

Speaking of the difference between "boy socks and girl socks", our children just learned the difference between boys and girls, like, last week.  Apparently, Aidan, who is three and a half, has thought that boys and girls all have "tenders" like he does.  So we felt the need before his baby sister arrived sans tenders to explain that she's not supposed to have them.  Hmmm.  We've taught our kids about Jesus, and the alphabet, and how to add and spell their names.  We just never got around to "girls don't have tenders like boys do".  Not sure how that one got missed.  But we've cleared it up now, and hopefully we will avoid a very panicked Aidan the first time he witnesses his sister's diaper being changed.

So this post started off as "Valentine's Day" and ended up as something of a brain dump.  Sorry about that.  Have a great weekend! 

Blogging is Cheaper than Therapy

I have been a little slow with all the blogging lately. Truth be told, there is a lot going on right now: I am 32 weeks pregnant, our house should finally be ready in the next week or two for us to move back in, and I am frantically trying to coordinate efforts between my insurance company, mortgage company, and contractor to ensure that this happens and everyone is fairly compensated. Oh, and I have to buy a bunch of new furniture. And Brandon is still out of town.

Lots of stressful, unfun-for-anyone-to-read-about things going on here, hence the scarce blogging. I am not sleeping well, working quite a bit this week, and still trying to be "good mommy" to the boys. Brandon gets back on Saturday, and I am looking forward to having him back. I miss him a bunch, and frankly, I need a little breather. Which is why my very compassionate OB doctor blessed me with a prescription for Ambien this past Monday. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. At least for now I am sleeping.

So I have started a new category of blogposts on my sidebar called "blogging is cheaper than therapy". Because sometimes a girl's just gotta vent. So I apologize that you may be reading things that are non-light-and-fluffy and may not have cute pictures of your grandchildren in it, but this is my blog and I get to do what I want with it.

I may also be posting things that you find you have no idea what I am talking about. Because I have not blogged about every passing thought, life event, and shake-up thus far. There are things I have intentionally left off of this blog. I debate posting some of these things, but truth be told, I want to write them down. There are things I want to remember (happy memories or not), and this blog is my "scrapbook" so to speak. One that I let random strangers on the internet read, but my scrapbook none-the-less.

On a completely unrelated note, Baby Girl has a tentative birthday: March 26 is her scheduled c-section. This birthday is a familiar one in my family, shared by both me and my mom. So a delivery on this date would make it a tad easier on the rest of my family, having one less day to remember. And I think it's kind of cool that she would share a birthday with both her mom and her grandmother. March 26 puts Baby Girl at 39 weeks 2 days, so I hope I make it that far. Dane made it to 40 weeks (actually, I think I would still be pregnant with Dane if it were up to him), and I went into labor with Aidan at 38 weeks 6 days. So it will be a coin toss if I can make it to March 26, but we're going to shoot for it!

Ramblings

It's been a bit since I last posted, and since I have nothing insightful to say, I thought a basic list of ramblings would be appropriate.

--Aidan was sick over the weekend, and I had to keep him home from church Sunday.  That child cried and fussed for almost 2 hours Sunday because he wanted to go to church and "see all his friends".  He will be the one I am tempted to ground from youth group when he is a teenager.  (As the wife of a high school youth minister, DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED on this practice.)

--Dane has been really sweet lately to his baby sister.  He will hug me, then hug my tummy, and talk to the baby.  He felt the baby kick the other day and the child was beside himself with excitement.  He asked me if God had made her feet yet.  Yesterday he put his ear to my tummy and said, "I heard my baby sister say Dane!  Dane!"

--Speaking of the big brothers, Aidan is convinced that he, too, has a baby in his tummy.  When he wasn't feeling well this past weekend, he was convinced it was because the baby in his tummy was angry.  He also prays for his mythical baby when he prays at night.

--I got Mac back from the Mac screen people and he is as good as new!  Yay!  I am typing this from a chair in the living room, not connected to a giant monitor screen.

--My house has walls inside now.  Not painted walls, but walls nonetheless.  Have I mentioned Brandon's shower remodel?  Allow me to explain.  Our master bathroom was built with a ridiculously small shower, next to a nice big bathtub, all along the back wall of our bathroom.  When the giant tree from our backyard decided to become an indoor house plant last September, we decided to not replace the bathtub and to make the shower much bigger.  The plan is for the shower to run the entire 8 feet or so of the back wall, be about 4 feet wide, with a 6 foot high "wall" in front of it, with an open doorway type thing on the opposite end from the shower head.  Are you picturing it?  It should be really nice if it comes together.  And Brandon will tile it himself after we move in.  All of this has proved to be a bit tricky to communicate to the various people working on various parts of our bathroom over the last couple of weeks.  For example, last week, Brandon went up to the house and a closet had basically been built where our shower was supposed to be.  Completely walled off, with a doorway.  And no light.  Interesting concept, no?  But it's coming together now.  Watch for "before and after" pictures of our new shower coming Summer 2009.

  

--Have you heard?  Apparently there is an inauguration scheduled.  I have a feeling I will hear the phrase "History in the Making" once or twice from the news media today.

--I guess I haven't mentioned it lately, but I am feeling fine, and the pregnancy is trucking along relatively incident-free.  Brandon even has mentioned that I am slightly less whiney (whiny?  I whine less) than I have been with previous pregnancies.  I passed my glucose test with flying colors, my blood pressure is perfect, and yesterday at my doctor's appointment she mentioned to me that I have lost 3 pounds in the last 2 weeks.  How ON EARTH that happened is beyond my comprehension.  But the woman with no willpower really didn't need to hear it.  And she didn't need to stop at the grocery store on the way home and purchase pizza, Stouffer's macaroni, and not one, but two different types of chocolate chip cookies.  Apparently the woman with no willpower interpreted this as "I have some ground to make up."  She's going to regret this in a few months.

Happy Inauguration Day, and I hope you celebrated MLK Day with gusto, as everyone in the tile-store industry apparently did!

The Nameless Baby

UPDATE:
This has been so fun to read everyone's ideas for baby girl names! I had no idea it would be so tough to name baby girls. The boys were so easy, we have always had a short list of boy names, just none for girls. Here are some of my favorites so far (and Brandon has vetoed ALL of them for one reason or another):

Elaine or Lainey (Brandon is okay with "Layne", but his spelling falls under the "weird spellings" category, and it rhymes with Dane)
Ava or Eva (both vetoed for being too trendy)
Bella (also too trendy)
Claire (I love it, but Hot Brandon says it's an old person name. And it's one syllable)
Gracie (another old person name, according to H.B.)
Audrey
Maisy or Maisie
Sadie (vetoed by both of us, we decided it was a dog's name)
Eden (we both love this name, but it rhymes with Aidan)
Natalie

Basically, if Brandon has heard of another person with the name, it is too common. He tells me there are a "ton of people" named that, even if he can only name one. A few that he likes, that I have vetoed:

Jael
Piper
Skyler
Meadow (or something like that. It may have been Moonbeam or something.)
several others that I can't remember because I already vetoed them.

We have a name in mind that we will probably choose because it's the only one we can both agree on, but we'd love to keep hearing your ideas in case we see one we like better!

Original post:

You may not have heard, but I am pregnant. With a GIRL. And she will make her grand appearance in March. The only problem is, we will have to call her Baby Girl until she is old enough to pick her own name, because Brandon and I CANNOT agree on a name that we both love.

So I am pleading and begging for help here. I need some ideas. I have googled and searched for names and we just cannot find it. So please, please, please, give us some ideas and suggestions. Here is the criteria:

1. Something unique, but not too weird.

2. Nothing trendy, we do not want her to be one of three kids in her kindergarten class with the same name.

3. Without divulging too much info on the good ole' internet, her last name will be our last name (um, duh), and her middle name will be my maiden name. Her middle name is one syllable, which "goes better" with a name that is more than one syllable.

4. Nothing that rhymes with Dane or Aidan

5. Must be easy to pronounce and spell. No weird spellings.

6. Nothing that sounds like a stripper. (For example: Dane really likes the name Lola. Just. Not. Happening.)

Nameless baby appreciates your help.

Less Outnumbered than Ever

Here are a couple of shots from the ultrasound yesterday.

This first one is a profile shot.  To the right is baby's head, you can see the tips of her fingers near her chin.

Here is the money shot.  Our precious daughter flashin' the trash.  The picture is from the bottom looking up.  Baby's skinny butt is to the left, with her legs sticking out to the right.  And in the middle, no weenie.  This is definitely different than Dane and Aidan's ultrasounds.

Here was the conversation I had with the sweet ultrasound tech:

US Tech:  Can you tell what you're having?

Me:  Where's the weenie?

US Tech:  There's not one.  You're having a girl.

Me:  Are you sure?  Is there another angle we could check?

US Tech:  No, this is the angle.  It's a girl.  Congratulations!  AREN'T YOU EXCITED?!?!

Me:  Of course.  These are just tears of joy.  Yes, joy, that's it.

Brandon and I are gradually getting over the sense of terror and shock we initially felt last night in the ultrasound room.  (I'm not gonna lie, glee and joy were not the initial emotions experienced.)  And we are getting more excited about having a girl.  Really, we are.  Still nervous and have no idea what to expect, but I'm going to enjoy the shopping part of a daughter, I think.  

One thing is certain:  she's going to have to be one tough cookie to hold her own with these two.

Or, we may just have to dress her up as the damsel in distress for Halloween to stick with the theme.

After the ultrasound, we asked the boys what they thought the baby in mommy's tummy was.  Aidan immediately said, "A tiger!", and Dane thought it was a girl.  Dane told me today that we needed to get some girl toys, like perhaps Hannah Montana stuff. 

Oh, sweet mercy.  HANNAH MONTANA STUFF?!?!  

Start prayin' for me now.

Early Shopping

Dane and Aidan did a little shopping and picked up something for the new baby:

Yes, it is a girl!  We had an ultrasound this afternoon, and let's just say, there was a definite weenie deficiency.  Not much doubt about it.  Ultrasound pictures to come soon...

And, yes, I know the outfit is pink.  In fact, it looks a bit like the chicken pox.

Frequently Asked Questions, Part 2

Please refer to FAQ Part 1 if you are feeling exceedingly nosey about my family's current situation.

Q:  So, um, you're pregnant?

A:  Yes, we are pregnant.  Homeless and pregnant.  Just stick me barefoot on a street corner and I am a statistic.  We are about 16 weeks (4 months-ish) along, and should find out in a couple of weeks if it is a boy or a girl.  I feel fine, and have felt fine the whole time (I think God knew I could not handle morning sickness and everything else that is going on right now), except for very frequent headaches that I'm hoping has been a sinus infection that will clear up with the gigantic antibiotics I am taking now.  And, I have only gained about 2 pounds so far (that was SO NOT the case with my previous pregnancies, I had put on about 10 at this point with the boys).

If everything goes how Mandy plans (which would be the FIRST thing that has gone how I planned of late), the baby will be a scheduled c-section in the last half of March.  The actual due date (40 weeks) is March 31, but due to minor complications with my last c-section, I think my doctor is planning the delivery for a week or two before that date.  And because life is not complicated enough, Brandon will be leading a mission trip to Mexico over Spring Break the second week in March.  So if you're local and wondering how you can help us out, you can offer to take the boys for a day between March 7-March 14 so I can rest and try not to go into labor while Brandon is building houses in the barrio.

Q:  Aren't you just so so excited that this one might be a girl??  Aren't you??  Aren't you??  You'll get to dress her up in frills and pink and the hair bows!  Oh, the hair bows!!  You SO need a baby girl in your house.

A:  Um, wow, you (and almost EVERYONE I have talked to) are sure excited about the possibility of me having a girl.  Can I send not-sure-it's-a-girl to your house when she is 13 and having a girl-drama meltdown because the boy she thinks has nice hair loaned her best friend a quarter at lunch time and that must mean he does not like her AT ALL and how dare her best friend for cheating on her non-boyfriend like that.  

I don't know if I can handle a girl, and frankly the possibility of having one sends me into a near panic attack at times.  I'm sure it would be fine, and we would eventually (hopefully before she is actually born) become thrilled with the thought of having a daughter.  I have been practicing "being okay with a girl" by going to stores with baby clothes, looking at pink clothes, and trying not to throw up.  It's been very therapeutic.   We would also be thrilled with being an all-boy family.  That thought gives my heart a bit of piece in this moderately stressful season in our lives.  And, um, all the baby girl clothes are pink.  Really pink.  That nauseatingly pale baby pink.  I can taste the bile in my throat as we speak.

Q:  How do the boys feel about a new baby coming?

A:  It doesn't occupy their thoughts much.  Dane wants a baby boy so their will be three boys, and Aidan is ambivalent about the whole idea.  I'm grateful that I do not have children that wake up every morning and say, "How much longer until the baby is here, Mommy?"  Because, folks, it would be a long 5 more months.  Dane is slightly concerned that if it's a girl, we don't have any girl toys.  He wants me to go and buy the girl a Barbie.  Like, now.

Q:  So since you are pregnant, are you still planning to adopt?  Where does the pregnancy leave all of that?

A:  Read this if you are confused about this question.  The easy answer is, yes, we are still planning to adopt.  We have always wanted to adopt a child into our family, and we continue to rely on God's perfect timing in this.  The agency we are dealing with has put our application on hold until the pregnancy is over.  They say it is not psychologically good for the family to be in the midst of a pregnancy and an adoption simultaneously (um, especially for this family at this time, because excuse me, my plate is FULL).  And that seems like a very logical decision to us.  At the earliest possible opportunity, we plan on activating out application again.  Brandon and I decided that if we have another boy, we will plan on adopting a boy, and if this baby is a girl, we will plan on adopting a girl.  We are hoping that these two children will be close in age, just as Dane and Aidan are close in age.  

Hope everyone is having a great week!  Congrats to my baby sister who closed on her first house today!  

Coming Soon: March 2009

And you thought I was just getting fatter.