Tuesday, January 13, 2009


The e-bay van is cursed.

For the last month or so, it has been having what I can only describe as electrical difficulties, and every now and then it will just die. The lights won't work, the buttons on the key won't work, the engine won't even turn over, nothin'. We have taken it to the dealership twice before to have the problem resolved, and they have so far basically told us (after we spent almost $700 dollars), that they do not know what the problem is.

Onward down the road we go.

The boys and I went to Pump It Up yesterday for a couple of hours, and then I had the brilliant idea to take them to the Kolache Factory for lunch to take advantage of a really good coupon I had. (That doesn't sound like me, does it? Trying to convince my young children that yes, kolaches are lunch, just to use a good coupon?)

I pulled the van right up next to an electrician's truck in the parking lot, and the van promptly died. And did not restart. I guess the electrician felt sorry for the poor pregnant lady popping the front hood and messing with the fuse box (it's the only "car thing" I know how to do: identify the fuse box), because he came over with his special electrician's tool and tested all of my fuses and my battery and verified that they were all in good working order. I had great fuses and a terrific battery, the van was simply cursed.

So the boys and I headed inside for some "lunch" and I decided to myself that I was a pregnant lady stranded at a Kolache Factory, and, frankly, things could be worse. I was sitting and digesting my wonderful egg/sausage/cheese creation while the boys ran around chasing each other (we were the only ones there. I guess no one else had the coupon). The employees, who all knew of my stranded-ness, had retreated to the kitchen and left me to browse my cell phone for someone who could possibly come and get us. Brandon was away at a staff retreat, naturally.

I was midway through the "K"s on my phone when I look up to see Aidan's shoe flying through the air, behind the counter, and directly into the racks of kolaches stacked behind the counter. I 'calmly' set my phone down and tried to reprimand Aidan for kicking his shoe into the ham and cheeses while stealthily trying to retrieve the shoe and dispose of the kolaches that had fallen to the floor at the same time. (What I wouldn't give for a peek at that security tape.) Thankfully, the employees remained in the kitchen and did not witness the vandalism. When I got back to the table and my phone, I realized that in my haste, I had accidently dialed my friend Kelsey and had been connected to her voice mail the entire time. Later that night, after she had gotten off of work, she called me very concerned that something was wrong, thinking I had been in some kind of accident.

How do you explain to your friend, "No, no accident. I was just stranded at the Kolache Factory with my cursed e-bay van and my son's shoe was flying for the air, headed for the racks of kolaches behind the counter because I had the brilliant idea to eat lunch there and use this great coupon I had."

An accident is much more believable.

The van eventually started back up, just after I had secured another friend who was on the way to rescue us from certain Kolache Banishment, and we headed straight to the dealership for the third time in less than a month for the Dodge experts to tell us the van is possessed and nothing short of an exorcism will cure it.

And my exorcism I mean new internal computer.