Interview with A Five Year Old

*Warning: the following post has been hijacked by Brandon.

Mandy has been crazy busy working her tail off in order to financially give birth to our soon to be adopted Chinese daughter, Emerson (a.k.a. "Tiny Dragon"). When she is not in the ER saving lives and being all heroic, she is working her way through endless lists of travel plans and documentation, and figuring out how to get our children cared for while we are in China for two weeks...needless to say, she has been kinda swamped. So she asked me to step in and help her interview Aidan for his fifth birthday...buckle your seat belts, it's gonna be a wild ride.

Dad: Aidan, what can you do when you are five that you can't do when you're three?

Aidan: You couldn't jump higher than a brick. (Huh?) I couldn't jump over handlebars when I was four.

Dad: Can you do that know?

Aidan: No (Looks at Dad like he is crazy)...but I will when I am five (Tomorrow).

Dad: What was your favorite part about being four?

Aidan: The part at school when I jumped over five kids standing up.

Dad: Aidan!? (Incredulous)

Aidan: What (Arms out defensively)...I did...the teachers told me I had to.

(Dad secretly thinks, "Wow, that's my kind of school!")

Dad: What is going to happen at your birthday party this Sunday?

Aidan: Ummm...there will be a big water slide, a little water slide, and a teeny water slide for Harper and all the other babies (All the other babies? I'll try to love them like my own). I even want a baby swimming pool for her. Ummm...we will eat cake, have fun with friends, open presents ALL DAY, play with my toys...all my friends like Bwian (Actual name: Ryan) like to play with toys, even blue ones. Ummm...play games and stuff, but not Pokemon Rumble - that is just for me and Dane...everybody else can just watch.

Dad: What is your favorite song Aidan?

Aidan: (Instantly breaks into song) "Happy Birthday JESSSSUUUUUSSSS! (This is a Christmas song from school that he loves, but he instantly begins making up his own version from here on out) I'm so glad it's your BIRTHDAAAAAAYYYYY! And the people and friends and everybody and Dane." (He stops singing) I like the part of the song when they sing about the presents and gifts and candy and everything (Do you really need to be told that no such part exists?).

Dad: Aidan, what was your favorite part of this year?

Aidan: Like in the summer...the part when we made the whole garden.

Dad: What do you think of the garden now?

Aidan: (He goes to the window and peaks out at the garden) It looks like it is dead.

(It does look like a veggie graveyard, but did he have to say it with so coldly?)

Dad: What is your favorite bible story?

Aidan: David and Goliath.

Dad: Why?

Aidan: Because it has lots of fights and stuff...and a big fight with David and Goliath.

Dad: Tell me about it.

Aidan: This little kid named David won...he slung the slingshot with five stones at Goliath's head. Then he died.

Dad: Who died - David or Goliath?

Aidan: Ummm....Goliath (Very uncertain)? He dropped his sword and his shield and his spear and then fell over on the ground and went CRAAAASSSSHHHH! And David said, "Hooray, hooray, hooray, hooray, hooray (All this is done in impromptu song form)." And then David became king in the palace. Then king Solomon (Actually Saul, but close) got angrier and angrier and angrier and told his guards, "Get that king (David)!" But they just didn't listen. Then he went and threw a spear at David and David ran off. Then Prince John (I'm assuming he means Jonathan, not the guy from the Robin Hood story) and his sister Princess Loveheart (Your guess is as good as mine)...and then the prince kid died in battle...and when he died, David took care of his little brother. Then David and John prayed together and they asked King Saul to listen to God...then they made a plan about when John was at the party. He would shoot arrows to tell David it was okay, but one arrow went behind the rocks and the others didn't...(At this point, Aidan starts complaining of an upset tummy and just drops the story...which if you know anything about the story of David, was an amazingly accurate and detailed account for a five year old to spout off)

And thus concludes my interview with my favorite five year old. Most people just assume that A-Man is my little clone, but after writing out this interview...I can definitely see some of his mom in there. Evidence? A: He has every minute of his birthday party planned out completely, down to specific water activities for "all the babies" that will be there...that is SO Mandy. B: He spares no emotion in his cold and calculating assessment of the dead garden in the backyard...a garden which he claims is the best things about the past year in his life. Where is the sense of nostalgia? Where are the tears shed for a family garden in its death throes? Again, the heartlessness of it all is SO Mandy. (If you don't already know, I am the sensitive, emotional, ninny of the family...Mandy is the no-nonsense ER nurse that doesn't pass out at the sight of blood, bone, brain matter, etc.) C: Aidan has an incredible memory for details, as you may have noticed in the story of King David. He routinely blows our minds by recalling some random detail from some random event totally out of the blue. And if any of you know me - attention to details...not really my strong suit. That is SO Mandy!

On the other hand, he is obsessed with jumping over stuff, tells wild stories, exaggerates everything, randomly breaks into song, loves video games, has an unhealthy attraction to violence and looks EXACTLY like me...so I would say Aidan is about 80% Dad, 20% Mom, but that 20% is going to make him a better man than I'll ever be. Happy birthday Aidan - you are one of the most interesting, unique people I've ever had the privilege to meet and I cannot wait to see the incredible things you do with your life. I love you A-baby!

(Actually this is BRANDON, but this signature is stuck at the bottom of the page and I don't know how to get it off!!!)