Mother of the Ringbearer

The wedding.  

Oh, the wedding.  

Jeremi and Jenni's wedding was beautiful and perfect and sweet and it was just so good.  I will go on and on about the wedding itself later.  Today, I will tell you about the ring bearers.

The boys rehearsed several times Wednesday night how they would walk down the aisle.  They even rehearsed it with these beautiful ring pillows that Jenni had specially ordered.  They were beautiful.  Each one was 3 little ivory satin pillows stacked on top of each other, tied with an ivory satin ribbon.  Each pillow had little pearl beads on each corner, and they went with the decorations and matched the color of Jenni's dress.  Two little "fake rings" were sewn to the top of the pillows.  (It had long been decided that these children would not be trusted with actual jewelry.)

Would you trust these two??

(Please excuse my son's fake tattoo peeking out the top of his shirt.  We are a classy, classy bunch.)

At some point during the rehearsal, Dane realized that you could untie the pretty satin ribbon and tie it around your neck until it came dangerously closed to cutting off your airway.  So the ribbons were gone, never to be on the pillows again.  But it was fine.  The 3 little pillows were sewn together, and the little rings were still sewn on the top. Very cute.

Thursday arrived and the boys had to be at the place to get dressed at 4 pm (it was a 7:30 wedding.)  Dane usually goes down for a nap or "rest time" at 3:00.  So we formulated a plan:  Brandon would take all the boys (Dane, Aidan, and Wilson) out on Thursday morning and wear them out.  Swimming, or running around at the park, a long walk, playground, anything to make them so exhausted they would hopefully take a nap 2 hours earlier than usual.  Because I just could not imagine Dane behaving himself for several hours after bedtime without any kind of nap.

That was the plan.  

Brandon did his part.  He took all the boys to the park and made them walk around the lake until their little legs just would not carry them any farther.  Then they played on the playground for a while.

And Dane would not take a nap.  No amount of pleading, threatening, or bribery could get that boy to sleep.  And so he was completely exhausted and whiny before pictures even started before the wedding.  I was not looking forward to the "Dane standing still in front of people for 30 minutes" part of the ceremony.

So the time came for Dane and Wilson to line up at the back with the bridesmaids and flower girl.  Brandon was up with the groomsmen at the front, and Dane had to be at the back with the girls.  You can imagine how well this went over with my overly tired and emotional son.  A meltdown was beginning, complete with tears and whining, and crying for Daddy.  So I did what any mommy would do and dragged him crying into the bathroom for a little ring bearer pep talk.

About 10 minutes into the motivational pep talk, Jenni The Bride In All Her Wedding Dress Glory comes into the bathroom with photographer in tow.  She was waiting in the bathroom until all of her bridesmaids had walked down the aisle, so no one would see her until it was time.  Dane picks this prime moment to pick up his pillow, wipe the tears from his face, and yank the two little fake rings right off the top.  

Great.  

He is desecrating the beautiful ring pillow in front of the bride who had picked out Just The Right Pillows for the occasion, mere minutes before she is walking down the aisle.

It was at this point that I warned Jenni that she might just have one ring bearer.

My mind was just about made up when Dane yanked on two of the three little pillows sewn together, ripping the pillows apart from each other. 

Right about now I was trying to figure out a way to sneak liquor into the reception.

Dane pulled himself together enough to step out of the ladies room and into the foyer where the bridesmaids and Wilson were quietly lining up.  Wilson took one look at Dane's lone bare pillow and proclaimed "I want a pillow like Dane's".

So I did  what any desperate woman would do.  I grabbed Wilson's perfect little pillows with the little rings attached and yanked it apart, handing him the plain little pillow just like Dane's.  Anything to prevent a ring bearer meltdown right before they had to walk down the aisle.

Here's what was actually carried down the aisle last night:

Dane made it down the aisle without incident, and lasted approximately 5 minutes standing at the front before being discreetly removed by Usher Matt.  (previously known as Handy Matthew).  He spent the rest of the ceremony making race car noises at the back of the room while he rolled one of the fake rings back and forth across the dessert table.  

Wilson was smart and brought his Leapster.
More on the wedding and my favorite ring bearer later.  (Hint:  The Rhythm Got Dane and there is photographic evidence.)